Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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