Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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