Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Randomize
