Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Randomize
