i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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