mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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