it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
