FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
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