i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
im holly from the hills drunk
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Randomize