how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
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