belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
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