I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
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