PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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