i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
