you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
