I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Randomize