I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
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