so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Randomize
