Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
my being single is dangerous.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
your like the ambassador to my penis.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
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