Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
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