Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
splinters make it hard to masturbate
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Randomize