Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
