Heybabeimwearingurpanties
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Randomize
