you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
