My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
The Olympian is in my bed
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
