take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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