just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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