At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
