just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
