She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Randomize
