Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
