3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Randomize
