She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
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