I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Randomize
