i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Randomize
