No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
He shit in the fireplace
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
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