dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Randomize
