Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
