She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
