and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
