guys are not supposed to queef...right?
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Alive.
So much puke
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
