My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
we made out on top of his cat.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
