what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
