OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
