Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize