I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
Randomize
