That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
