You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
