How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
