I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
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