accomplished twins. life is a go
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Randomize
