party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
