I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
