I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
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