We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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