I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
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