he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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