Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
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