Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
