Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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