good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
