It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
