Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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